Mental Break(through)
As the mother, I needed to stop. I needed to stop spending so much time scouring the internet, forums, boards, groups, messages. I needed to detach and try to forget about all of it for a few days. And that is never easy.
You get so used to recording every good and bad behavior. You nitpick every move your child makes and wonder what triggered it. You get anxious over not being able to recall every morsel of food that may have been ingested. You aren't sure if the kid went number two yet, and then force said kid to go sit and try to make a number two. This is everything that exhausting intends to be. For you, the parent, the guardian AND for the child.
So I did, I stopped jotting everything down and just lived in the moment day by day. And I realized I was missing out on what other strides our son had been making. I spent more time taking advantage of those strides. He left me speechless, this kid has changed so much over the past year, and this feels like it is still only the beginning.
I will share a few examples.
Yesterday, marked the first day yet, K told me how he was upset at school. Now please understand, K is speaking in sentences now, but when it comes to expressing an emotion, he usually picks "key words" to get the point across. His teacher let me know about his crying episode. He worked through it rather quickly, but he did need some deep pressure to do so. She informed me he was no longer on calendar duty, a new week means a new student. His how his day went discussion always takes place away from him. This day, he told me about the problem before I even brought it up, right there during pick up in front of us both.
K: "K upset school."
Me: "You were upset at school today."
K: "Yes."
Me: "Tell me why you were upset today."
K: "Calendar again." pointing to display on chalkboard
Me: "You were upset because you are all done with the calendar, but you want to do it again."
K: "Yes."
Me: "Is a friend from school helping move the calendar this week?"
K: "Yes."
Me: "Your friends all take turns helping at school, K needs to take turns too. Will you let that friend have the calendar, K?"
K: "Yes."
Me: "Are you still upset?"
K: "No."
Me: "Thank you for telling mommy you were upset. You are a good friend and helper at school."
I was baffled. I was surprised. I was so deeply touched it nearly knocked me over while I stooped on his level to talk about it. K shared his emotions and tried his best to explain why. He took the time to understand it. THIS IS HUGE!
As for today, he told each therapist how the therapist before them was fun. "Fun at school...Fun with Miss Kim....fun with Miss Kathy" and trying to explain what he did the day before or what activity he did with the previous therapist. Each one was surprised at how conversational he was. We see a total of three therapists on Tuesday. He is a trooper to push through each one and cooperate. We didn't always cooperate, but he is doing much better.
I am going to stop here, end this on the positive side. Follow up will be about the uncertain side that continues to remain. I didn't say negative, progress is progress, we can only keep moving forward.
You get so used to recording every good and bad behavior. You nitpick every move your child makes and wonder what triggered it. You get anxious over not being able to recall every morsel of food that may have been ingested. You aren't sure if the kid went number two yet, and then force said kid to go sit and try to make a number two. This is everything that exhausting intends to be. For you, the parent, the guardian AND for the child.
So I did, I stopped jotting everything down and just lived in the moment day by day. And I realized I was missing out on what other strides our son had been making. I spent more time taking advantage of those strides. He left me speechless, this kid has changed so much over the past year, and this feels like it is still only the beginning.
I will share a few examples.
Yesterday, marked the first day yet, K told me how he was upset at school. Now please understand, K is speaking in sentences now, but when it comes to expressing an emotion, he usually picks "key words" to get the point across. His teacher let me know about his crying episode. He worked through it rather quickly, but he did need some deep pressure to do so. She informed me he was no longer on calendar duty, a new week means a new student. His how his day went discussion always takes place away from him. This day, he told me about the problem before I even brought it up, right there during pick up in front of us both.
K: "K upset school."
Me: "You were upset at school today."
K: "Yes."
Me: "Tell me why you were upset today."
K: "Calendar again." pointing to display on chalkboard
Me: "You were upset because you are all done with the calendar, but you want to do it again."
K: "Yes."
Me: "Is a friend from school helping move the calendar this week?"
K: "Yes."
Me: "Your friends all take turns helping at school, K needs to take turns too. Will you let that friend have the calendar, K?"
K: "Yes."
Me: "Are you still upset?"
K: "No."
Me: "Thank you for telling mommy you were upset. You are a good friend and helper at school."
I was baffled. I was surprised. I was so deeply touched it nearly knocked me over while I stooped on his level to talk about it. K shared his emotions and tried his best to explain why. He took the time to understand it. THIS IS HUGE!
As for today, he told each therapist how the therapist before them was fun. "Fun at school...Fun with Miss Kim....fun with Miss Kathy" and trying to explain what he did the day before or what activity he did with the previous therapist. Each one was surprised at how conversational he was. We see a total of three therapists on Tuesday. He is a trooper to push through each one and cooperate. We didn't always cooperate, but he is doing much better.
I am going to stop here, end this on the positive side. Follow up will be about the uncertain side that continues to remain. I didn't say negative, progress is progress, we can only keep moving forward.
Comments
Post a Comment